Bully, Bully....

I never thought that I would be involved in a situation where my child is being bullied.  I have one daughter who is in college and two in middle school.  They are each honor roll students, involved in other activities and have never been sent to the Principal's office for attitude or behavioral issues.

I was surprised when my daughter told me that another student had knocked her down in the hallway at school.  "Tell me what happened," I asked.

"I was just standing in the hallway talking to a couple of friends and this girl walked up behind me, kicked the back of my knee and I collapsed onto the concrete floor." Sydney explained.

"Why would she do that to you?"

"I don't know, I didn't do anything to her," she said.

"Well, I don't know Syd, she probably didn't mean to actually knock you down.  Maybe she was just trying to say, "hi!" and get your attention?" I offered.  "I don't think she actually meant for you to fall to the ground!"

"Yeah," Sydney agreed "probably not."

"OK well let it slide and lets just assume it was an accident, OK?" I said.

She seemed fine with that and we let the matter drop.  I thought that was the end of it until I got this text message from Sydney at school.

     "I have a bloody mouth, got punched in the face."

I was horrified! Now what?  I waited patiently for her to come home.  I wanted to hear the whole situation and in her series of emails she said she didn't want me to tell on the other girl.  I later learned that Sydney actually was holding her text book very close to her face while sitting at her desk.  The same girl walked by, punched the book and smashed it into her face causing her lip to split and bleed.

My daughter said she felt so humiliated and she tried not to cry while she got up and went to the rest room.  That part breaks my heart ... to understand this feeling of shame and not want it for her.  She went on to tell me that all of the students are talking about the situation but none of the teachers seem to know.

This IS a bully situation.  The sad thing is that other child needs intervention right now! I am taking the steps to empower my child.  I have spoken with her in depth about what this means.

This situation is NOT about her.  It's about a child who has not been taught to control her emotions or cope well.  The anger she must be feeling probably has very little to do with Sydney but she is a convenient outlet for this girl.  Once she figures out that she will not bully my daughter, she will unfortunately move on to another person's child.

If a parent sends their child to public school they need to learn the rules.  If they do not learn how to behave, I believe it is the job of the public school to intervene at THIS age!  Every doctor, every psychologist and every psychiatrist will tell you that if counseling will be effective it is at the youngest age possible.  These kids that act out aggressively need some sort of behavior modification classes.

I placed a photo of my child on my personal facebook with the caption, "This Child Won't Be a Victim"....I knew that many of my friends would offer support and this would allow my daughter to not fear having told an adult.  I knew this would show her that she did the right thing.  I wanted to allow her to feel strong and not weak.  Not only did my friends support her, but many students and friends of all of ours.  For that I am so grateful.  It really helped her to not be afraid to talk about this.

I spoke to the 6th grade principal and he was so engaging and I felt like he really cared.  He explained the school will be including the program "Rachel's Challenge" in the near future.  This program teaches children about caring and compassion.  I felt he was truly understanding the situation.  He gave me some tips and asked if they could speak to Sydney and connect her to another teacher or counselor who could stay apprised of the situation.

Next, the 7th grade principal (who didn't know I already spoke to the other principal) called me.  I almost felt deflated.  She seemed totally disinterested, uninvolved and had nothing to offer.  She did say she would speak to my child and investigate the matter further but then I think she was finished painting her nails so she had to let me go.

I will have my eyes on the school and I did feel compelled to tell the 7th grade principal that I will not tolerate my child being bullied at school.  It should not happen again.  I am anxiously waiting to hear what Sydney says about how today went.  I hope that for us, the bully will move on.  I hope for society that we find a way to deal with these children that scream "help" before we have another news event.